Those Dumb, Impulsive, Loyal, Brilliant Marauders
by Blondie Pants
Summary: The Marauders are closer than brothers. They will go to the ends on the Earth and beyond for each other, slap each other upside the head with the truth of reality when necessary, and never, ever desert one another.


_Second Year_

"Sirius! Peter! I've got it!" James hissed excitedly, dropping a large book on the table where they had spread out their homework.

"Got what?"

"I've figured out why Remus keeps disappearing!"

Peter looked confused. "His mum has some long-lasting illness, doesn't she?"

"Peter, don't you find it odd that Remus' mum gets deathly ill _exactly once a month_?"

"Does she?"

"Yeah. And he disappears for two days and comes back looking like he was in a fight with one of Hagrid's monsters."

"More like all of them," Sirius said, now interested. "And keep your voice down, Madam Pince is dying to throw me out of here."

"Right, so I got this bizarre hunch, and I checked the lunar calendar against the days that he's missed. He's always gone on the _full moon_!"

It took a moment for that to sink in, and Sirius' eyes grew huge, filled with excitement . "No... there's no _way_…"

"What?"

"Peter," James said quietly, "I think Remus is a werewolf."

The color drained from Peter's face so fast that James thought he might pass out. "Bu-bu-but… but it's _Remus_… what are we going to _do_?"

"Well, I just want to know why he didn't tell us," James said, dropping into a chair.

Peter looked at him with an expression that said James was a few pieces short of a Gobstones set.

Sirius chuckled. "Well, he probably thought that we wouldn't want to be his friends anymore."

James blinked, confused. That was ridiculous. Surely Remus knew better than that?

"Are you _sure_, James?" Peter asked.

He opened the book he'd brought to a chapter titled _Recognizing the Untransformed Werewolf._ "'When bitten by a werewolf, a man will acquire a few curious tendencies, obvious to the observant eye. He will develop a liking for slightly undercooked meat. When angry, he may be observed growling and baring his teeth. Someone trying to identify the werewolf would do well to pay attention to the lunar calendar in relation to the evenings which the wizard in question disappears. Lastly, unless the werewolf is able to ravage humans, he will ravage himself. These injuries will be evident long after they are inflicted, because bites and scratches from werewolves are cursed and do not properly heal.' There's more, but that's the gist of it."

Sirius looked stunned. "I don't believe it…but it all _fits_. Peter? Peter?"

Peter shook his head. He looked like he was about to be sick.

"Oh, come _off_ it! He's still Remus!"

"But…" Peter whimpered, "he's a _werewolf_."

James glared. "It's not his fault he has a—a furry little problem!"

"Get a hold of yourself, Pete," Sirius said impatiently. "Look, we need to figure out what to do. We can't pretend we don't know, but we can't just _ask_ him."

"Okay, when he comes back, we'll bring it up gently, _reassuring him that we still want to be his friend_." The last bit he directed at Peter, who shrank back and nodded nervously.

The next afternoon, Remus returned.

"Remus!" Sirius called, as the fourth Marauder climbed through the portrait hole. He looked exhausted, but smiled broadly and joined them at their table, where James was concentrating hard on the chess board in front of him. His efforts were valiant, but seeing as he was playing Sirius, it was a lost cause.

"How's your mum, Remus?" Sirius asked. James tried to focus on his next move, but he wanted to hear what Remus didn't say.

"She's okay, for now. But the Healers are fairly certain that she'll never be totally healthy again."

"I'm sorry, mate."

No one said anything for several moments. James and Sirius exchanged glances. "Well, I've all but lost," James said finally. "Can we go upstairs? We need to talk to you, Remus."

"Umm, sure…"

Peter looked downright terrified at the very thought. James was losing his patience with the way Peter was acting, and grabbed him by the collar. Remus was not going to lose friends over this.

In their dorm, James and Sirius exchanged uncertain glances. No one knew what to say. Remus looked confused. "Well…Remus, we…ah, this is hard…" James rubbed a hand in his hair, trying to figure out where to start.

Sirius threw up his arms. "Remus, we know."

Remus paled.

"We know you're a—"

"Don't say it." He sat down on his bed and put his face in his hands. "I knew you would figure out eventually…how could you not…" He lifted his face and revealed a defeated expression. "I'll go to Dumbledore tonight and ask him to move me out of here. It was foolish…no one wants to live with a werewolf…"

Sirius seemed to be bursting with frustration. "You prat! We don't care if you're a werewolf or a merman or a Venomous Tentacula, you're still our friend. We're telling you we know so that we can all stop lying to one another."

Remus looked at them in disbelief. "Are you sure? Please don't be joking." His tone descended close to begging, and he looked horrified with himself for a moment.

James rolled his eyes. "For God's sake, Remus. Is it so hard to believe that we want to be your _friends_?"

Remus couldn't help it. A huge grin broke across his face.

"Now, let's go get dinner, Moony. I'm hungry."

"Moony?"

Sirius grabbed his friend's arm and dragged him from the room. "You'll get used to it."

xXxXxXx

_One month later_

"I hate this," Sirius grumbled. "Knowing that he's alone, tearing himself to shreds."

"Me too," said James, equally miserable, "but we can't do anything. We have to remember that he's not Remus right now. He's a werewolf, and a werewolf would kill humans without a second thought."

Something seemed to spark in Sirius' brain. "James… What if we _weren't_ human?"

"Um, Sirius?" Are you okay, mate?" Peter looked at him as if he wasn't quite sure.

"I'm fine. James, are werewolves dangerous to other animals?"

"I don't think so. Just people." _Where was he going with this?_ James wondered.

A smile spread across Sirius' face. "Gentlemen, I have an answer. We're going to become Animagi."

Animagi. The ultimate mastery of Transfiguration. Highly illegal without a license, and certainly not allowed for underage wizards. James grinned.

Peter looked shocked. "But, Sirius! That's really advanced Transfiguration! Most grown wizards don't even try it! Plus, we're not of age!"

Sirius waved that away. "Minor details. We could do it with careful practice. James and I are the best at Transfiguration in our year."

"It would take a long time," James said. "We might not manage it for years."

"But we could be with him, keep him from harming himself… James, he wouldn't have to be alone…"

James' eyes were shining from the prospect of helping his friend. Breaking countless rules in the process was an added bonus. "Let's do it."

xXxXxXx

_Fifth Year_

"Remus."

He looked up from his homework to see his three best friends standing in front of him, smiling oddly. "What did you three do this time? Am I going to have to put you in detention again?"

James snorted. "For this one, you may have to arrest us."

"I have to finish this." He turned pointedly back to his homework.

Sirius sighed. "Remus, please come with us." His voice, so calm and without a trace of laughter, half-shocked Remus into putting his quill down and following. The little group went outside, across the grounds, and right to the edge of the Forest. A few steps past the trees, they stopped. They couldn't be seen from the castle or Hagrid's hut now, Remus realized.

"Something very fishy is going on here. What happened?"

"Remus, we have a—a present for you, I guess," James said awkwardly. "We've spent the last three years working on it." All three of them closed their eyes and screwed up their faces in concentration.

A moment later, a stag, a big black dog, and a rat stood where his three best friends had been moment before. Remus sat down in shock.

"You…you're…"

"Animagi," Sirius said proudly, turning back into himself. James and Peter followed suit. "We hate knowing that you're alone during your transformations. And we obviously can't be with you as humans. What do you think?"

Remus swallowed hard. "I think I have the three greatest friends in the universe."

Huge grins spread over their faces.

Remus started to laugh and punched James' shoulder, who was closest. "But you idiots! Do you have _any idea_ how illegal this is?"

xXxXxXx

_Sixth Year_

"I'm going to find out what the bloody hell is going on with your stupid little group, Black. You're all going to get expelled."

"Is that right, Snivellus?" Sirius said, sneering nastily. "Well if you're so curious, go poke the biggest knot on the Whomping Willow. Maybe it'll break you in half and save me the trouble."

"You know, I think I will, Black."

"Wipe your nose."

"Boys!" McGonagall came sweeping down the hallway, glaring at the both of them. "Classes started five minutes ago! Five points from Gryffindor and Slytherin. Move it!"

Shooting one last poisonous glare at each other, they did.

Sirius was about to doze off in Potions when a strangely clear thought floated across his brain. _What if Snivellus actually tried it?_ He sat up, suddenly awake.

"Yes, Mr. Black? Do you have a question?"

"No, Professor."

James looked at him curiously. _What is it?_He mouthed. Sirius shook his head. No need to tell him unless something actually happened.

That evening in the common room, Sirius set up his homework at the table by the window. He knew that Madam Pomfrey used a Disillusionment Charm to conceal herself and Remus, but he doubted Snape would.

"Padfoot?" James asked. "Are you ok? You keep looking out the window. And you're stiff as McGonagall."

"Just…excited about tonight…"

"Bollocks."

Sirius didn't reply, distracted by what had appeared on the ground below them. A black figure with unmistakable hair was hurrying across the grass. He stopped and examined the tree carefully, just out of reach of its malicious branches. James joined Sirius at the window, who found that he couldn't look away.

"Sirius… What is going on?" James' voice was dangerous. "Is that who I think it is?"

Snape dove for the knot but was thrown back. He tried a few more times, but couldn't get near it. After a moment longer of consideration, he picked up a long stick and managed to touch the knot with it just as a branch flew by and snapped it. The tree froze.

Sirius gave the tiniest of nods.

"And how, may I ask, did Snape know to touch that _particular_ knot?"

"I told him." Sirius' voice was so low that he barely heard it. But James did. Or maybe he didn't need to.

"You IDIOT!" Everyone in the common room jumped. There was dead silence as all eyes turned to the two friends turned brothers.

Sirius found himself unable to look at James. "I—I was just—"

"Just what, Sirius? Having a bit of fun? Well, you have a twisted sense of humor, Mr. _Black_."

The reminder of his Dark family was worse than if James had hit him. Much worse. He forced himself to look at the hazel eyes that he knew would be filled with fury. The brother he had chosen. The friend without whom he easily could have become just like the rest of his family. "James—"

"Shut up, Black. I have to go clean up your mess. As usual." He turned toward the stairs, but Sirius jumped up and grabbed his shoulder.

"Let me help."

"You've done enough." He shook his hand off and ran up the stairs three at a time. The buzz of gossip started the instant James' heel vanished.

Sirius didn't see him come back down, but less than a minute after he had gone upstairs, the portrait hole seemed to open of its own accord.

James sprinted through the corridors, aware that his ankles were probably visible, but not caring. He _had _to get to Remus before Snape did. The alternative was just not one he was willing to think about. He wasn't thinking about Sirius; there'd be time to be angry with him later. Out by the thrashing tree he found another long stick, and, a few bruises later, slid down the hole between its roots.

A stag couldn't carry a wand, but he wouldn't need it. He didn't even know a spell that would help against the creature. Leaving wand and cloak just below the hole, he took off again down the passage, hooves pounding on the dirt floor. With every deep breath he searched the air for some hint of blood, but none came. As he neared the end of the tunnel, a scream found his ears that turned his blood to ice.

Kicking open the door, he transformed back into a human. Snape had backed into a corner, chalk white with fear. The werewolf was growling in rage, his transformation almost complete.

"Snape! _Move_!"

A deep, menacing snarl issued from the werewolf, but during his transformation, he was less coordinated. If Snape didn't move now, he would lose his chance. But he wasn't. James ran forward and kicked the nearly-transformed creature in the head. _"Go!"_ This time, Snape did. The werewolf was already recovering, bounding towards the door. James followed him, and yanked it shut just as the huge body hit it with a monstrous crash. He locked it (despite the fact that Remus couldn't turn the knob until he was human again) and sank to the floor, trembling.

Both teenagers just sat there for a few moments, shaking and listening to the werewolf throw his body against the door a few more times before giving up howling in pain, telling James that he had begun to bite himself.

"Lupin… Lupin's a werewolf…That's what you idiots are hiding…"

"I just saved your greasy hide. Watch who you're insulting."

Snape didn't have anything to say to that. He just scowled and crossed his skinny arms.

James set off down the tunnel without a word. A moment later, he could hear Snape following a few steps behind. "Black tried to kill me."

James balled up his fists. _Don't hit him. You'll just make everything worse. _"Sirius is an idiot, but he was _not_ trying to kill you."

"What, he sent me down here to have tea with that thing? Face it, Potter, he tried to kill me. You're all going to be expelled. Black will be arrested, and Lupin will be put down."

James turned so sharply that Snape jumped. "Remus is _not_ some animal, you git! He's a human with an unfortunate condition, which was caused by circumstances _way_ outside his control! So _shut_ the _hell up_about things that you don't know the first thing about!"

Snape looked stunned for a moment, but quickly hid it under his cold demeanor. "Does Dumbledore know you're keeping a monster in the school?"

"Dumbledore is the only reason Remus is in school."

That got a dark laugh. "Figures." They started walking again, in a very tense silence.

_What if he tells Lily?_He knew that they weren't friends anymore, but if he got her to listen long enough to tell her about tonight… He didn't want to think about it.

In the entrance hall, they ran into McGonagall, out of breath and looking more disheveled than either of them had ever seen her. She had clearly been on her way to the Willow to find them. "Are either of you hurt?" They shook their heads and she let go of a tense breath. "Thank Merlin. In that case, the Headmaster would like to see you both." She straightened her hat and beckoned for them to follow, suddenly entirely proper and stoic McGonagall once again.

They followed her upstairs and past the gargoyle, into Dumbledore's office. Sirius was sitting there, looking entirely miserable. He looked up when they came in, an expression of intense relief when he saw that neither of them had been bitten.

McGonagall left, and Dumbledore conjured a chair for each of them. He eyed all three teenage boys critically as they sat down.

"Mr. Black came to me a few minutes ago. Perhaps, Mr. Snape and Mr. Potter, you could tell me of the part that each of you played in this evening's fiasco."

So Snape told his version of the evening, and James told his. The whole time, Dumbledore listened quietly. When they were finished, he spoke in that same calm voice that betrayed no emotion.

"It seems to me that Mr. Black had a severe lapse in judgment. You will have a detention every night for a month. And one hundred and fifty points will be taken from Gryffindor." He and Sirius would have looked horrified if they hadn't had completely agreed with Dumbledore. "I will be writing to Mr. and Mrs. Potter. The do know about Remus' condition?" James nodded. "However, Mr. Snape, you should not have been goaded into exploring around a tree that you were warned repeatedly to stay away from. Thirty points will be taken from Slytherin and you will have detention tomorrow night."

Snape looked furious. "But sir—"

Dumbledore raised a hand to silence him. "Regardless of what Mr. Black did, you _were_ breaking rules. Lastly, Mr. Potter." James pulled his eyes away from inspecting the tear in his robes. "I am astounded at the way you rushed to the Shrieking Shack. Mr. Black told me how quickly you went to help, despite the knowledge that you would be facing a fully-grown werewolf. I will award Gryffindor fifty points for your bravery."

Snape looked even more furious at that. James was shocked. "Thank you, sir."

"Now, I will ask the two of you to return to Gryffindor Tower while I have a few more words with Mr. Snape."

James and Sirius walked towards the Gryffindor Tower in uncomfortable silence. Finally, Sirius opened his mouth, but James cut him off. "Don't apologize. Not to me. It's Moony you need to apologize to."

"But—"

"Sirius, don't you _get _it? Snape could have died tonight."

"No loss as far as I can tell."

"And what about Remus? If he had killed Snape, they would have killed him too. Hell, if the Ministry even _knew_ he was here he'd be expelled in an instant. There's a good reason Dumbledore's kept this so secret. Most wizards would look at him and see an animal, and a dangerous one at that."

Sirius looked horrified. Evidently, the full impact of what he had almost done had just hit him. "Merlin," he breathed, "I'm sorry, James, I just didn't think—"

"That's your problem. You never do."

The pair lapsed into silence again, not speaking even when they reached their dormitory and both collapsed onto their beds, fully dressed. Tomorrow morning they would go find Remus in the hospital wing. James knew from the lack of his usual snores, that Sirius didn't sleep that night.

Skipping breakfast, the three Marauders went to the hospital wing the next morning. Remus looked the same as he always did after a full moon, but there was an angry set to his jaw, and he glared at Sirius when the three entered.

"You remember, then?" Sirius asked meekly.

"I always remember. I lose my humanity, not my memory. And Dumbledore came to fill me in on the parts I missed."

"I can't tell you how sorry I am, Remus."

"Sirius, do you understand what almost happened last night?"

He nodded.

"When the door opened, I expected the three of you. No, it was Snape, who wouldn't leave without finding out our secret. I thought I was going to kill him."

Sirius said nothing and kept his eyes fixed on the tile.

"This was too close for comfort. I don't know if we should keep up our little adventures. Or we need to at least be much more careful."

None of them said anything, and Sirius still had his eyes fixed on the tile.

"We'll talk about that later. You three are almost late for class."

James and Peter hurried out, but Sirius lingered by the bed. "Does this mean…?"

"How about this—why don't you bring back some legible notes this time and we're square."

xXxXxXx

A/N, written upon completion of the 1st draft: HOLY FUDGE MONKEYS MY BRAIN IS MUSH. I've spent at least a week on the first draft of this. Who knows how long the editing nonsense will take. You guys have no idea how hard it was to make Remus and Sirius NOT GAY in the last scene. And their conversation with Dumbledore, yeah that was hard to. I considered writing a few more parts of this, like when he tells Tonks or talks to Lily about it or something, but this is already 10 pages and I feel like that's a good stopping point. Buuuhh why do I enjoy torturing myself this way?

A/N, written upon final completion: It has been MONTHS since I started writing this. Maybe a year. I have no clue. ANYWAY, one of my betas pointed out how Snape didn't seem mad enough at James. My only explanation for this is that he was still getting over the shock, and then they were with Dumbledore. He couldn't exactly scream at James with Dumbledore there.

So, I thought that I should point this out: I despise Remus/Sirius slash. I think it's really disrespectful to the characters. And they are decidedly straight here. SO KEEP YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER.

Yeah, faving without commenting sucks. Don't do it. You comment, I'll send love.

Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to J.K. Rowling.


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